As strong as She

Happy mother’s day (no one could ever compare)

Sometimes I remember,
Memories that seize to be seen,
But I remember your feelings for me,
Your endurance in my existence,
Your tender heart that forgave my every mistake,
Your touch, so calm, so sweet, as they console me in my weakest moments.
I remember your strength for those 9months,
Your second chances,
No, your thousand chances.
How did you do it?
Smiling at my troubles,
As I broke all the rules and made you scream and tired,
How did you smile at my mischief?
When my scars hurt,
You place your hand on my chicks,
Running your fingers over my tears,
You tell me it will be fine.
That voice, that hope, that care,
Tell me, mama,
How did you watch me run around making you worry?
Those days when you can’t take it what do you do?
You hold me tight and do not let go.
You look into my eyes and smile,
I remember those eyes,
You never forget the first orbs you saw.
I remember the tears in your eyes when my skin burn,
You run around,
Finding ways to make it stop,
How are you so selfless?
Your empathy and compassion,
Your strength,
Oh your strength,
I can never compare.
The earth doesn’t come close.
Every time I look into the mirror,
I crave your reflection,
How do I get to be you,
How do I get your patience,
Your empathy,
Your selflessness,
Your love,
Your care,
Your strength,
How can I be as strong as you?
I remember the beating of your heart when you get mad at me,
You are angry but find a way to be tender,
You are sad but find your way to smile,
You are scared but you try to be brave,
You are tired but you stay strong,
For me, you would choose me.
During the cold days,
You keep me warm in your embrace,
Your arms my haven,
Your voice my symphony.
In hunger, you choose to my feed, my soul.
When I was nothing but weak and fragile,
You protected me and didn’t look back.
I can only hope that one day,
I get to be as strong as she.

Oh mama, my heaven on earth.

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Facade

Yesterday never existed

If I ever tell you I mean these words I say,
I want you to believe me like I wasn’t lying.
If I ever come back asking for you to stay,
Run like you knew I wasn’t telling the truth.
And when these tears fall down my eyes,
Just pretend it was me smiling.
And If I remind you of the day we met,
Can you pretend like it was me dreaming?
When the time comes when I share my dreams,
Just acting like I was hallucinating.
Most times you act like you knew me,
But you didn’t at all.
All you have of me,
Is an idea from some tragic love story,
Where the girl was snow white,
The boy prince charming.
But I am no snow white,
And you are prince charming,
Just one with the aura of a beast.

Shadow

Bring the sun let me borrow it’s light

Bring down the sun

Lay it beneath my feet like grass,

Let me look without shadows

Deeper than Sea

Even underwater I feel

I feel, I do feel,
I fear, I do fear,
I overthink, I do overthink,
I am paranoid, once in a while.
My emotions are one bag of mess.
So be careful when you throw your words,
There is only so much my heart can take.
I am human,
Even sometimes I feel deeper than humans.
Sometimes I suffocate,
while you stand and tell me it’s okay,
Instead of helping me breathe,
I suffocate.
I have faith, but not enough to heal my anxiety,
I am cold, deadly cold.
Sometimes I can’t feel my feet,
Because they get tired too you know,
Of running.
Most times I cry
Because, like humans, I get tired of being strong.
Sometimes I just want to be vulnerable,
But my fear of being exposed keeps me hidden,
My eyes are clouded,
And my lips tremble,
My body shaking,
While all along my chin smiles.
I fight,
Almost every time.
My soul feels,
My heart is weaker than you will ever think,
and I am nothing but something deeper than the sea.

Times lost- Reborn

Yoi rise from the ashes

To the times the emotions failed you,
The times when reasoning was doubt,
To every time you fell and no one saw you,
To the moments you felt the pain alone and cried by yourself.
To the times you thought it was over and you lost.
Moments when everything else didn’t matter except the hurt you felt.
To the worst times when they told you to be strong like grief could be controlled.
Every second they made you fake a smile when all you wanted was to hide.
To days they didn’t understand.
To every time they wanted you to be part of their parade.
From the lost moment, you thought you loosed control,
The moments you thought it was over,
To every scary moment you thought you lost a fight.
Remember that you are still here,
And all that time was nothing but strength in disguise.
You fought, you fell, you stood and yet again you fell, you hide but you fell anyway,
There is nothing to be embarrassed about,
For you that survived, you were nothing but brave,
In a world where they tell you your role,
A world where they give the character in your own story,
You fought and became the plot twist,
Here you are and the climax is in your favor.
There is a box and key, a place all set for you to stay but you broke every chain they locked you in,
Here you are free and courageous,
Here you are becoming history itself
Because in the end you wrote your story
And you would tell it your way.
You are the future
Risen from ashes and with pride, you walked with every scar they ever inflicted on you.
It’s your stage, you should walk it your way.

A writer’s new year

Happy international writers day✨

While I write away,
I want to be honest not blunt,
I want to be sensitive but also truthful,
I want to be emotional but without sentiments,
I want to be rational but also intuitive,
I want to write fearlessly like it’s few minutes before the world wakes up.
I want to write with reason but with fierce logic,
I want to write with curiosity and inquisition,
I want to write like it’s mine,
Because it is.

Maybe I don’t

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

Destiny is something that’s pre written. As much as my faith requires me to believe in it, maybe I don’t. Because if I do then it simply means I have no control over my life and then I will just be a character off someone’s book. What’s the point of doing what we do if something else is destined?

DAWN

I hope you make it my morning

As the clock hits 12am the room went dark 

And you hear the tick tock of the clock so loud and clear.

Not even the moon is bright enough to light the room,

Vision and pictures crowd your mind and your head is watching,

But you listen to the silence and wonder what it is you hear?

What it is you see in the dark?

Everything comes rushing in and you turn to the left side,

Wanting to sleep but you can’t.

How could you? When you wonder what it is you fear.

But you close your eyes very tight trying to make the images and thought go away.

You don’t want to understand what you see because you wonder what it might mean.

Then the clock stroke, its 1am.

The room gets darker and scarier.

The tick tock gets louder and the silence grew,

But the things you see now isn’t just images,

They are getting real, only they didn’t have faces,

And you wonder when morning will come.

You turn right, close your eyes and shut your mind but your mind had gone too far to return.

You reach under the pillow hoping to find something,

And you wonder what it is you hope to find?

Too scared to look out the window not sure if they are there.

The night was getting too different

The room getting smaller and you are suffocating,

You reach for the cover and suddenly! It doesn’t seem to cover you well enough,

But you held onto it hoping it would protect you.

Nothing is helping,

You reach for your memories but the good ones are gone,

How? You wonder.

You shut your eyes and ears as hard as possible,

And your bed side is suddenly wet and you realize you are crying.

The tear was oozing with fear and inner screams for help but nothing came.

Then the clock strikes! Its 2am.

The room gets even darker,

The tick tock got louder again,

And you try to look around, wondering what steps you hear.

But you hold yourself scared of it maybe.

It was getting louder and closer,

You hold tighter and closing your eyes harder waiting for what comes next.

But your body turns on instincts and you found nothing,

The air of relief comes out of your mouth,

And you hold your beating heart in an attempt to stop it from racing.

But right then it occurred to you that the night was getting longer than it should.

You reach for the lights,

And suddenly your switch seems far away,

But you remember it was close to you few hours ago.

You move your hands against the walls trying to fine the switch,

Then you felt something, you touched something,

And they didn’t feel like switches at all.

So you stand still, so still that the sound of your heart is the only sound you hear.

Dawn never felt so far.

On the caged bird

How long do you plan on staying?

Every day I am reminded of the caged bird
With clipped wings and blurry eyes.
Skinned to the skin and left for the cold.
Master! Master!
It will sing,
That’s what they like to be called.
The faith they say is what they get,
They say faith is why you are caged.
While it suffers in bondage
And emotions in silhouette,
It keeps singing to its keeper.
Master! Master!
Every day they come to take a feather away,
Hatch they say,
Hatch for the chicks
Or hatch for food.
Master! Master!
They say, either way, you must hatch.
You are meant to love it,
Hatching I mean.
You hatch for your masters,
When you dry away,
Dead dead dead
They get a new bird.
Master! Master!
When does the caged bird fly free?
Only when it’s dead.

STARS

We are here in a prison of our choice, aren’t we?

In the beginning there were stars,

And then there was rain in the mist,

Even our shadows can’t save us now.